Offensive Humility

Humility is probably poorly understood and poorly defined for the same reason that there is not a lot of braille writing on stove tops. To understand it requires experience, usually the kind of experience we earnestly pray to avoid. (Unless we pray for it on accident, a distinct possibility for those who request that various virtues be added to the fabric of their character.)

In a recent institute class, a student indignantly rebuffed my definition of humility in favor of something he had read somewhere. I did not mind so much somehow; time will see us all get our opportunity to dance with difficulty, and to understand humility through our experiences, rather than by a convenient rote definition from an appendix or glossary of terms.

Humility, or at least the invitation to be humble, can stalk us wherever we go, whatever our circumstances. I met a man, my same age, who has many things I envy—a lucrative profession and the Tevye-esque social status that entails; wealth and possessions; physical health and energy beyond mine; a wife and two rambunctious, beautiful boys; and on and on with various details. I felt to envy him his position, and yet I saw that he had two thorns in his side that made life difficult for him anyway. First, he described the difficulties of his marriage to me. He blamed her for various things, and even went so far as to announce that Satan worked through women to destroy families because women "aren't used to dealing with evil." I saw how his wife whined and complained in a manipulative fashion later that day. Granted, I only got one side of the story, but I also saw and heard something in his words and attitudes that also made him culpable, in my eyes, for half of the problems. Whereas she was manipulative and shriveled by insecurity, possibly because of jealousy about her husband's accomplishments, he was unyielding and unwilling to compromise. Words such as "all," "always," "totally," "completely," and descriptions of things in unqualified, absolute terms bespoke a deep, under-girding assumption that he was right all the time, with no possibility of any other explanation being right, or any other information being necessary to forming an opinion.

I found it strange to meet someone who apparently had everything on my Christmas wishlist who was also somewhat dissatisfied with life. Getting what you want is not the key to happiness; wanting the correct things is a preliminary step. There is so much that "cannot satisfy." The incomplete definition of humility proffered by my fellow student in favor of mine was "acknowledging our dependence upon God." My definition was "deference to the truth, however inconvenient or uncomfortable." Humility requires acknowledging dependence upon God, certainly, but is it possible to say "I need your help" and not be humble? Take Satan, for instance. He asked God for His honor and power, but to what end? To give God advice about how things SHOULD be done. He acknowledged his dependence ("...give me...") without adding the crucial phrase, "Thy will be done."

The Prodigal Son, for whom my compassion continues to grow as I see him in the mirror more and more, was another extreme example of proud acknowledgement of dependence. "Give me my inheritance." Again, he shows no signs of genuine humility.

The second thorn, and my biggest grievance with the blessed-yet-miserable man I recently met, was his eagerness to correct the Brethren. In Matt 10:40, Jesus tells His chosen disciples, "He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward." Conversely, in John 15:20, He warns His Twelve: "Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also."

Joseph Smith also lamented, "I have tried for a number of years to get the minds of the Saints prepared to receive the things of God; but we frequently see some of them, after suffering all they have for the work of God, will fly to pieces like glass as soon as anything comes that is contrary to their traditions: they cannot stand the fire at all. How many will be able to abide a celestial law, and go through and receive their exaltation, I am unable to say, as many are called, but few are chosen." "How oft have wise men and women sought to dictate Brother Joseph by saying, 'O, if I were Brother Joseph I would do this and that;' but if they were in Brother Joseph's shoes they would find that men or women could not be compelled into the kingdom of God, but must be dealt with in long-suffering, and at last we shall save them. The way to keep all the Saints together, and keep the work rolling, is to wait with all long-suffering, till God shall bring such characters to justice. There should be no license for sin, but mercy should go hand in hand with reproof." "I told them I was but a man, and they must not expect me to be perfect; if they expected perfection from me, I should expect it from them; but if they would bear with my infirmities and the infirmities of the brethren, I would likewise bear with their infirmities." "Although I do wrong, I do not the wrongs that I am charged with doing: the wrong that I do is through the frailty of human nature, like other men. No man lives without fault. Do you think that even Jesus, if He were here, would be without fault in your eyes? His enemies said all manner of evil against Him—they all watched for iniquity in Him."

Essentially, you can tell how someone would react to Jesus in the flesh by seeing how they treat His chosen representatives. Lucifer had advice for God, and today such characters have a lot of advice for the Brethren. Matt. 6:11, "And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me." The Gospel, offensive? Isn't it a giant cotton swab, a pillow of sorts that is soft, even when it bounces off your head? Apparently the Gospel is pricklier than that.

Laws are organized according to hierarchy. Some supersede others. There is a higher law than the cultural bylaw in 2011 North America regarding the absolute sacrosanctity of Niceness. The highest law, insofar as I am able to tell, is to obey the Spirit, wherever it leads, to speak and act and travel. The law is even higher than "thou shalt not kill," as Nephi so reluctantly demonstrated. Abraham's obedience to the one commandment over the other was an even more extreme test of fidelity. I wilt inside when I think of how far I have to go, how timidly I approach the thought of putting my various false gods on the altar. What would I sacrifice? What wouldn't I? Health? Relationships? Pleasures? Others' good opinion? My reputation? My money and possessions? Life itself?

I give it as my opinion that God chooses prophets based on many qualities, but that one quality must be at the center of each man who wears the mantle of Apostle: a willingness to make those massive, Abrahamic sacrifices, a total fidelity to God's law, a complete deference to Truth, or God's will (they ARE the same). In other words, they have the essence of humility firmly in their hearts, rather than its symptoms on their person. They are not chosen for their ability to win popularity contests, to flatter and grease the clunky gears of ego in an audience. They are not even chosen necessarily for intelligence (Joseph was renowned for being "not learned.")

President Packer is a prime case in point. He is among the most vilified of general authorities in recent history, by those both in and outside of the Church. Members are sometimes ashamed of what he has said, for its tactlessness. They seem to be saying, "Don't you know how important it is to make everybody feel good about great, big, important SELF?" He will not host a garden party anytime soon, but listen to the magnitude of President Packer's commitment to the highest rule, and compare your own level of commitment:

"...I've found in my life that it has been critically important that this was established between me and the Lord, so that I knew that he knew which way I committed my agency. I went before him and said, 'I'm not neutral, and you can do with me what you want. If you need my vote, it's there. I don't care what you do with me, and you don't have to take anything from me because I give it to you, everything, all I own, all I am,' and that makes the difference."

You are looking at his qualifications to be counted as one of the Lord's servants. In Luke 6:46, Jesus sounds like a beleaguered parent: "And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, (how polite!) and do not the things which I say?" Yes, we ought to love one another, be polite, and so forth, but are we doing so because we are too timid to do otherwise? What if the Lord told us to do something else? Would we fly to pieces like glass? Not President Packer. Or any of the other Brethren. To be humble entails more than the classical symptoms of humility; it requires deference to the truth. And the closer we get to absolute deference to the truth, the more like Christ we become, both the inner good and the ugly rejection of the world.

Cease to Sleep

Lehi tells his sons to "arise from the dust, my sons, and be men" (2Ne. 1:21). Alma explains that the fathers of the people of Zarahemla were "awakened [by God] out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God" (Alma 5:7). These are figurative examples of sleep depicted as an enemy. The real thing can also be adversarial, a hindrance to spiritual and temporal progression.

"...cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated" (D&C 88:124). That is the commandment regarding sleep. It is an easy one to break, and I am glad it is not part of the Temple interview questions.

My father told me that each day is like a miniature life. We die when we go to bed at night, and are reborn each morning. Life is given to us in convenient sixteen hour segments, interrupted by about eight hours of unconsciousness, instead of one long stretch. We do not go to bed poor and wake up rich somewhere else; each day is the result of yesterday. Yet somehow, yesterday's problems are not as aggravating the next day. It is like having a clean emotional slate, even if we still have to deal with the consequences of yesterday's decisions. Babies sleep eighteen hours a day; I have wondered about the connection between brain development, memory formation, and sleep. Yet depression can also lead to an emotional thirst for sleep, a desire not to get up despite a full compliment of eight or nine hours.

Sleep may knit what worries unravel, yet it also resets testimony. It is like any other carnal indulgence, only more so. It causes forgetfulness of the miracles and testimony building experiences of yesterday. In an institute class I attended, Jack Chrisitiansen taught that if you wake up every morning and study the gospel (especially the scriptures) for one hour, you can overcome an addiction. (He recommended 5 am.)

Alma tells his son Shiblon to "bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love" (Alma 38:12). I once thought this was a reference to sex. But "passions" is plural. Any bodily appetite, when unbridled, can drive us away from God. I believe this includes sleep.

Satan will try to get our sleep patterns out of sync with sunrise and sunset. To a man, every addict I have known who was struggling was also getting to sleep at 2 am and waking up at 10 am, unless he had a family and a job. Satan wants to mess up our sleep cycle so that we commit "time-acide." Instead of ending our lives instantly, we commit a slow suicide by wasting each precious day, hour, minute, and second. Instead of waking up early, and being ready to face the day when the sun is up, Satan gets us to wake up at 10 or 11 am, and spend lunch time bathing and eating breakfast. No one can really hold down a job on a schedule like that, unless it is a graveyard shift, and it effectively precludes interaction with others. We stay awake til 2 am pursuing useless or sinful activities. In short, we have forsaken the opportunity the day afforded to go out among people, make a difference in their lives, be effective, share, love, work, exercise, learn, teach, grow, etc. It is almost as if we never really lived that day.

Resisting any sort of appetite or temptation during a given day is always easier for me when I have awakened early that morning and studied the scriptures (I prefer Jack Christiansen's one hour rule). An hour of walking or other exercise is also helpful in improving my mood, and the day just plain flows better.

I believe it is no coincidence that the commandment to "cease to sleep longer than is needful" is preceded immediately by the commandment to "cease to find fault one with another." If that command against fault-finding were not there, this verse would become the odious mantra of those who need less sleep than others (Mozart needed only 4 hrs of sleep per night to function), a ready-made missile of accusation in the tone of self righteousness. Peter left his career and followed Jesus; why was the rich young ruler so unwilling to follow suit? But we all have our particular vices, weaknesses, and all need a measure of allowance. "Cease to find fault one with another" turns "cease to sleep longer than is needful" into a personal battle, rather than an opportunity to accuse each other for a crime we all commit at some point.

Sleep is a blessing if used properly, and a curse when abused. It is the same with all things given by God.

There is no indication of sleep in heaven or hell. God "rests" on the seventh day of creation, but in Psalm 121:4 we read, "Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep." "When ye are weary [the Lord God] waketh morning by morning. He waketh mine ear to hear as the learned" (Isaiah 50:4). He is always awake, and who would want to go to sleep in heaven, if it is a place of perfect joy? Children who need to be pulled from their beds to go to dreaded school in the morning wake up in the wee hours on Christmas morning without any alarm clocks. (They become alarm clocks themselves.) Similarly, hell is hell because there is no remission of agony. Guilt, regret, remorse, are all perpetually present, with no chance to forget the "perfect knowledge" of guilt (2Ne. 9:14), and no way to sleep ("they cannot die" (Alma 12:18)).

As the agony of the Atonement came onto Jesus' shoulders in the Garden of Gethsemane, he sought comfort in company with his three most senior disciples:

"Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy. And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners" (Matt. 26:38-45).

Several thoughts occur to me as I reflect on this scene. I wonder if the disciples' "heavy" eyes were the result of emotional tiredness. They were used to seeing Jesus as the unflappable leader, calm even in a boat that was about to capsize. Now they were seeing Him in genuine distress for the first time, and their confusion about this contradiction might have driven them to seek escape in sleep. They were not used to comforting Him, but that is exactly what He needed them to do—to be present, awake, and with Him. Jesus warns that sleep can be an avenue for Satan to tempt them, and this warning echoes down to our time largely unheeded by the world. Having a willing spirit muted by weak flesh is a common lament in life, but giving in to one temptation of the flesh primes us to fall prey to others. If we need sleep, what makes it bad or good? Timing is the answer here. When Jesus was praying, they should have been awake; when Jesus was arrested, He told them "Sleep on now, and take your rest..." They could have been beneficial to Him at one point, and were useless to Him at the other. Yet Peter was completely awake, sword in hand, when the soldiers came to take Jesus, and asleep when Jesus needed him for companionship. That phrase, "What, could ye not watch with me one hour?" cuts me to the core at times when I find myself drifting of to sleep in Church, or especially when I manage to ignore my alarm clock in the morning. While no one could carry Jesus' burden for Him, it was appropriate for His disciples to keep Him company. Their failure to do so was compensated for by the arrival of an angel who came, "strengthening him" (Luke 22:43). How sad that no earthly servant was available to play that role.

The greatest irony here was that Jesus was refusing stubbornly to give in to the demands of His exhausted flesh to atone for His disciples' failure to exhibit that same strength by comforting Him while He atoned for that very failure. I hope that we all can succeed in getting out of bed early, not because sleep is sinful, but because sleep at the wrong time can preclude so much goodness, and potentially open doors for Satan to get at us. We are told to put on the whole armor of God (D&C 27), and the best time of day to do this is early in the morning.

Alone

In Abraham 3, Jehovah says "we will prove them now herewith to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them." The antecedent to "herewith" is the materials of which this earth is made. In other words, we will use the physical matter of this world to prove people. It is easy to become distracted and decoyed by the things of the world, away from the right path of obeying the commandments. We are our own judges, because our actions show what we actually want.

Lehi's dream in 1Ne 8 becomes ever more poignant to me as the years pass. Worldly distractions, a giant building of well-dressed jeering mockers, a river of filthy water, a Tree of Life with penultimately desirable fruit, a narrow path leading to it, all symbolize essential elements of this earthly proving we are experiencing. Perhaps the most important image is the iron rod, or word of God. (It cannot represent the scriptures only; millions of people and thousands of denominations have falsely interpreted scripture. It must also be emblematic of the Holy Ghost.) Today I was struck by the fact that Lehi did not arrive at the tree alone. He beckoned his wife and children to partake of the fruit with him. Lehi's life has many parallels to Adam's. Both prophets are told to leave their homes on pain of death by God; both see a Tree of Life and a dreary world; both build altars after their expulsion; both have righteous and rebellious children; both prophesy about their posterity; both leave a final blessing on their posterity; both become fathers of nations. And both are inseperable from the mothers of their children.

It is not good for man to be alone. Marriage is the cure for "alone." Who is the main beneficiary in the transaction of marriage, the man, or the woman? If they were the only choices, I would say the man gets more out of if, but children are the big winners when mom and dad love one another. The Tree of Life evokes reproduction. If Lehi's dream is a template for this life, we can see our choice more clearly; either choose family, or the distractions of the world. More and more, the options seem to be family-oriented economic toil, or the glittzy, glamorous enticements of the world. There are many ways to "find yourself" touted by the world (an activity Jesus warned would lead to losing one's life). Travel to find yourself on a different continent. Climb mountains. Break glass ceilings. Accumulate wealth and status and titles. Pursue the pleasures of the flesh. In essence, put the materials of which this earth is made ahead of the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. Satan does not care where we end up, as long as we are single and childless like him.

If we do not directly reject parenthood, we can also fall into the trap of "later," being lulled into carnal security. But the window of reproductive opportunity is very brief. Peak years for males and females are 18-25, with potentially another 10+ years for women, and varying degrees of waning potency for men. And it takes more than the ability to beget children in order to raise them well. It takes vigor, energy, and time to keep up with their needs as well. The waning years of later life give us an opportunity to repent of abusing reproductive powers in the first half of life (my paraphrase, according to Hugh Nibley; see 2Ne. 2:21). To delay marriage is a trap.

Jesus taught the world how to pray: "Father which art in heaven," He began. And the whole Christian world has been vainly repeating the phrase, praying as Jesus exemplified. Why that title above all others? Of the innumerable names of God, this one is the one He chose to address deity. What does that let us know about Him, and ourselves? Lehi immediately looked around for his children to share the fruit; parenthood runs deeper than intellectualism. His search was an immediate, instinctive reaction, not methodical or calculated. His family was his highest priority. "Father" lets us know who is behind us, supporting us, and what lies ahead if we are obedient.

The title "Father," eternally speaking, indicates that the gates of eternal reproduction are open. Anything less than parenthood is literal damnation in the hereafter, to be stymied and impeded in one's progress. "Eternal Father" emphasizes the endless nature of His kingdom, and His posterity. "Worlds without number," all peopled with billions of us, His children. "An innumerable company of angels." It is the antithesis of alone. We are His work and His glory; I am grateful when I pray that I sense His presence, feel His love, and get those still, small answers to my prayers. I am grateful He has nothing He would rather be doing.

Love

Recently, a giant cricket has taken the internet by storm. Many people have commented on how ghastly it appears. A disgusted relative of mine asked, "Why would the Lord create such a thing?" My response was something like, "Maybe the Lord has a different conception of beauty than you or me."

What does the Lord love? Variety must be on the list, since His creations are loaded with it. Millions of species share the planet with us, many of them looking like monsters from fiction and fantasy. What about us? Do we love variety, or homogeneity? Some cultures have the luxury of living without luxuries, outdoors in the shining sun, eating what food is available. Variety probably excites them. But here in my culture (that produced this computer I am using) we value uniformity, or at least we enthrone it. Look at any two cars, and they will probably look almost identical. Without labels, it is hard to tell one from another. My dad will see some vintage car from the fifties, and instantly declare what year it was manufactured, and the make and model. Each one was designed to be distinct. What happened?

The cheapness of making everything the same is probably the main driving force behind present day homogenization. Sameness also makes management and control easier. But we are also part of nature, made of the same elements, and created the same way—not on assembly lines—we each have unique genetics. This means that there is tremendous variety among people. We look, sound, and think very differently from each other, despite the fairly universal features we share. Even twins sport differences, and the gap usually widens as they age.

I am often amazed at how different two people can be, and yet each can be called lovely.

In D&C 88:130-133, the Lord actually calls something "beautiful." To conduct the school of the prophets, the teacher has to go through a procedure with each member: "And when he cometh into the house of God, for he should be first in the house—behold, this is beautiful...let him offer himself in prayer upon his knees before God...And when any shall come in after him, let the teacher arise, and, with uplifted hands to heaven, yea, even directly, salute his brother or brethren with these words: Art thou a brother or brethren? I salute you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, in token or remembrance of the everlasting covenant, in which covenant I receive you to fellowship, in a determination that is fixed, immovable, and unchangeable, to be your friend and brother through the grace of God in the bonds of love, to walk in all the commandments of God blameless, in thanksgiving, forever and ever. Amen."

Relating to each other with love and loyalty is beautiful in the Lord's eyes.

God loves everyone, as what is probably the most oft-quoted verse in the New Testament reminds us: "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son..." That can sound maudlin or saccharin because it is quoted so often. When you think about who is included on the list, it becomes more amazing. I personally have a hard time driving and loving everyone at the same time. And this dilemma is exactly the point: "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" (1John 4:20). God sees, and foresaw, and foresees, all of us—each sin, transgression, misdeed, and all our outright rebellion. Compared to Hitler, the giant cricket is gorgeous. Yet he is also on the list.

A friend of mine recently lamented having a criminal record. It interferes with finding employment, despite being completely qualified to do the job, and having put immense distance, including weekly worthy Temple attendance, between past-self and present-self. "When do we get to stop suffering for our sins?" my friend asked me. In this life, at least, we torment each other and ourselves far more than God does for our sins, though He does "stir [us] up to repentance." God's willingness and ability to forgive seems incomprehensible, and yet what Jesus went through in the Garden of Gethsemane is proportional to the heinous nature of human atrocity. The redemptive offering is exactly tailored to the debt we have incurred. How ironic that one of the symptoms of attempting to be righteous is judgmental or critical accusation, slander. The word devil literally means "slanderer," "accuser," and the truthfulness of the accusations does not justify them in God's eyes. He is the only one who is qualified to judge another person, because only He knows exactly what was going on inside them, as well as what they did. He is also often more willing to forgive than we people who are not perfect.

John Bytheway pointed out that the context of the statement "be ye therefore perfect" is loving our enemies. In the Sermon On the Mount, Jesus says we should love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and pray for them who use us and persecute us. God makes sun and rain to land on the good and the evil; we should not discriminate either. If we love our friends only, how are we any better than the rest of the world? And after expressing these ideas, THEN Jesus says to be perfect "even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matt. 5:48).

Love is easy to feel for the obviously beautiful things and people we see; "beauty" is anything that causes us to feel joy. It is much harder to muster love for giant crickets and poor drivers who make you miss the green light by driving slowly. Yet the Lord has done this—everyone falls under the umbrella of His love, or at least His concern and loving attention. It is true that some people have gone so far, received so many chances to change and return to Him, that law dictates their destruction. Sodom and Gomorrah are one example. But the Lord mourned the condition of the damned when Enoch saw Him weeping for them (Moses 7:29-40). C. S. Lewis expressed the idea that hell cannot hold heaven captive forever through the instrument of heaven's compassion for hell's fallen and dark state; heaven is happiness, not sorrow.

The Lord's mercy is extreme. The Book of Mormon shows us the "vilest of sinners" becoming mighty missionaries, and their murderous converts becoming saintly pacifists who will not even fight in self-defense. None of this compares to any offense ever committed against me, but still I nurse grudges for petty offenses.

To be like God is to be able to forgive and love others, and to see the beauty and potential hidden deep inside the muddy or occasionally yucky exterior. God does the same with us.

Glory Be

It is so very easy to justify actions. I saw part of an interview with a congressional lobbyist who bribed politicians on behalf of large corporations. He mentioned how he justified his actions in his mind by telling himself that he was just working inside the preexisting system. He also said the politicians were also in denial and refused to accept that they were being "bought."

I feel bad for those who are trying to hold onto the world and obey the commandments at the same time. Today I went to the bank (I have so little money, such visits feel like managing grains of sand), and the man in front of me was making a withdrawal. I watched from behind as the cashier counted out thousands of dollars for him. I admit I felt a twinge of jealousy. Until the man turned around, and I saw his face. I felt bad for him because the light in his eyes was dimmed a bit. The same thing was visible in the countenance of another man I saw years before. I knew he owned a successful business, and he had accumulated hundreds of millions of dollars. But the light in his eyes was dark. I do not envy those who sell out, who break off a chunk of their consciences and trade it for money. No man can serve two masters, and if you try to serve both, "the light that is in thee [becomes] darkness."

The first thing to greet patrons of the ancient Temple, and even the Tabernacle in the wilderness, was an altar of sacrifice. I believe there are several correct reasons why this piece of furniture is given such an up-front place of prominence, the very first one you see. The main reason, I believe, is to show the world (you could probably see the smoke rising from miles away) that there is a price to be paid in order to get back to God. Animal sacrifice back then was like burning money. (Job's wealth was measured in herds and flocks.) Imagine driving a shiny new car into the Temple parking lot, and having a deacon or priest flip a switch and crush it into a cube of metal. Willingness to part with the wealth of this world is part of the price we pay to see God again.

Every firstborn son in Israel, including Jesus, was brought to the Temple, and an offering was made to redeem them. If you could afford it, a lamb was sacrificed; if not (as with Jesus' parents) two doves were offered instead. Fire and firstborns hark back to a statement—John 1:9 calls Jesus "the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world." Is there a connection between sacrifice and light? Abinadi, a type of Christ, glowed like Moses coming down from Sinai the instant his death sentence was announced. And he was willing to die (Mosiah 13:9). His face shone so brightly that they dared not touch him. He was burned to death, a willing martyr (literally "witness") for Christ, the ultimate sacraficial Lamb.

Jesus made a greater sacrifice than any we complain about. He descended below all things: "Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men" (D&C 19:18-19).

When Jesus was about to work out the Atonement, he prayed: "O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was" (John 17:5). Perhaps the glowing embers of the altar recall the fact that the light in our countenances is borrowed from Jesus Christ, from the moment we enter the world to the time we leave. But continuing to receive that light is conditional: "And the Spirit giveth light to every man that cometh into the world; and the Spirit enlighteneth every man through the world, that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit" (D&C 84:46). Again, "...the whole world lieth in sin, and groaneth under darkness...And by this you may know they are under the bondage of sin, because they come not unto me...and that the whole world groaneth under sin and darkness even now. And your minds in times past have been darkened because of unbelief, and because you have treated lightly the things you have received—Which vanity and unbelief have brought the whole church under condemnation. And they shall remain under this condemnation until they repent and remember the new covenant, even the Book of Mormon and the former commandments which I have given them, not only to say, but to do according to that which I have written..." (D&C 84:49-57).

Notice how the escape from darkness is cast; faith and hearkening to the commandments and covenants we already have. Even more specifically, we are directed toward the Book of Mormon. And as you skim the pages of that book, you hear the continuous drumbeat of economics and their effect on spirituality. An exceedingly pertinent book. While lust for wealth is no better at destroying light than making appetites of the flesh, or power, or popularity, into an idol, it does have the distinction of begetting the other three vices better than the others can create it. All the other vices tend to orbit around greed like planets around the sun.

Children start out with a free donation of light, but knowledge and bad choices can rob us of that gift. Every choice seems to get us more light, or reduce it—it is hard to find choices both significant and neutral. We can reverse course through repentance, but O, the cost of going in the wrong direction! It is never as cheap as you thought is would be, is it? You make one wrong choice, and suddenly you are making other correlated wrong choices—lying to cover up the first choice, engaging in addictive behavior to silence your wailing conscience, avoiding good people and places (like the Temple) because of shame, listening to raucus music to drive away the Spirit, and on and on. When you expose yourself to a sin, its relatives cluster around you like blood sucking mosquitos. Sins attack in swarms. The light you lost from committing one sin was armor against the others. We are commanded to repent of ALL our sins, to be perfect like Jesus. Perhaps the best we can muster is to hate all sin, but at least our hearts are pointed in the correct direction. Trajectory counts. And 1Ne. 3:7 reminds us that every commandment comes with a way to keep it.

Instead of looking for ways to bend the rules, or asking God to bend them for us, or looking for a tasty blend of sin and repentance, let's repent of all misdeeds and get that light, and its attendant peace, which only come when we do right.

I Am

I recognized recently that in order for a belief to qualify under the scriptural definition of faith, it must meet at least two criteria: 1. It must be a belief in something unseen, and 2. It must be a belief in something that is true. A belief in something seen and true (like gravity or the sunrise), or a belief in something unseen and untrue (aliens or monsters in the closet), or a belief in something seen but untrue (an illusion at a magic show), are all incompatible with the scriptural definition of faith.

Not only is faith based on what is unseen yet true; to effect our salvation, it must be centered in Jesus Christ. A relative asked me why we are told to have faith in His name, rather than Him. Here in mortality, all we have is words about Him, especially His name, which is attached to, and associated with, descriptions of His life, ministry, works, miracles, etc. We believe on His name because that is the main part of Him we actually have. (The people who were privileged to see Him in mortality and witness His miracles did not do so well, collectively.)

Through ordinances, we covenant to remember Him, and show that we are willing to take His name upon us. We pray, and perform all ordinances, in His name. The priesthood is the authority to act in His name, or as His representatives. A name is invisible when applied to a person. When we are spiritually begotten, we become the sons and daughters of Christ, and are called in His name. If we are not called by His name, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven (Mosiah 5:8-14).

His premortal name, Jehovah, or "I exist," is pertinent to this subject. In order to be saved, we must have faith in Him, and that includes not seeing Him while He is still "true," or while He actually exists. He even told the Pharisees outright, "before Abraham was, I am." This is not bad grammar; it is Jesus explaining that He was the God of the Old Testament.

So much depends on things that we cannot physically see or quantify in the gospel. At least, you do not see physical manifestations until after you exercise faith. Yet that backwardness of going from belief to concrete evidence, rather than going from evidence to belief, is what qualifies genuine faith in Christ. (The way the Lord does so many things, and His priorities, are backwards from the way tend to do them as mortals.)

Rebirths

An institute teach drew a diagram on a whiteboard, and it left an impression on me. It charted our different births, premortal, mortal, and postmortal.

Spirit Birth

First, we were premortal spirit children of heavenly Parents. We "received [our] first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth in the due time of the Lord" (D&C 138:56). We were part of a grand council in heaven before the creation of the world, (Abr. 3), and shouted for joy at the opportunity to come here and have Jesus be our Savior (Job 38:7). We overcame Satan with faith in Christ (Rev. 12:11). Brigham Young learned from Joseph Smith in vision: "Tell the Brethren if they will follow the Spirit of the Lord they will go right. Be sure to tell the people to keep the Spirit of the Lord; and if they will, they will find themselves just as they were organized by our Father in Heaven before they came into the world. Our Father in Heaven organized the human family, but they are all disorganized in great confusion." (Brigham Young Collections, 17 Feb. 1847). Those who receive priesthood callings in this life were ordained to them before: "Every man who has a calling to minister to the inhabitants of the world was ordained to that very purpose in the Grand Council of heaven before this world was. I suppose that I was ordained to this very office in that Grand Council." (Joseph Smith, History of the Church, 6:364). We gained spirit bodies, knowledge, status, and promises of potential to become like our Father in heaven.

Mortal Birth

Next, we were born here as mortals. The veil over our minds "...[withholds] the recollection of [our] former friends and birth..." (Eliza R. Snow, O My Father, LDS Hymnal, #292). (The question of when and how this veil over premortal memories will be removed is one that has tantalized my imagination for several years now. To see the lost eons of premortality in light of this removal will certainly be hell for those who did not repent here in mortality.) The warmth and light of Celestial fires we came from seems to cool and dim as we grow and live on this fallen, mortal world. We gain bodies, which make us like God by giving us procreative power. Yet they make us prone to sin because they are mortal and fallen. Sin robs us of light. We can get it back, though, and include our bodies and our spirits in the process:

Spiritual Rebirth

Spiritual rebirth is available to us as we obey the first principles and ordinances of the gospel: Faith in Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion, and receiving the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands. The Atonement overcomes the effects of the fall in us. If we come to Christ in humility, with faith in Him, we can be "[baptized] with fire and with the Holy Ghost" (3Ne. 9:20), "having no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2). Jesus becomes our new parent, and we inherit his nature as we surrender our whole self to Him. It is spiritual rebirth, but it includes our physical bodies too. It is possible to reverse this change, however, and lose light again (D&C 20:30-34). Of all the births listed here, this one is the most mutable, and easy to lose or reverse. Whereas the others have a sense of finality about them, this one resembles a walk across a tightrope that lasts the duration of mortality, hence the command to "endure to the end."

Death

Death is a kind of birth also. We shed our flawed mortal bodies. The righteous who die are received into a state of rest, peace, devoid of worldly cares and sorrows (Alma 40:12). They are taken home to God who gave them life (Alma 40:11). Some continue their missionary work (D&C 138:57). Those who have died "...are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 326). Those on the other side of the veil are busy—we cannot be made perfect without them (D&C 128:15). What are they doing to make us "perfect?"

Resurrection

Finally, resurrection is an obvious kind of rebirth. We are reunited with our physical bodies in a permanent and glorified state. If we are married by the proper authority, our capacity to reproduce is also restored to us. "...it will be a great while after you have passed through the veil before you will have learned [the principles of exaltation]. It is not all to be comprehended in this world; it will be a great work to learn our salvation and exaltation even beyond the grave” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 348). D&C 132:20: "Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them." And we eventually begin to administer the same process to other intelligences.

God describes His course as "one eternal round." It seems that a great deal hinges on what happens in this mortality phase. So much of our eternal progression in the following phases will be based on what is probably the briefest stage of eternity, though: spiritual rebirth. It is a prerequisite for entry into heaven (Mosiah 27:25-26). This review of our eternal progression highlights how mighty a future hinges on such a small thing. A man will get nearer to God by abiding by the Book of Mormon's precepts, and the repeated emphasis of the book is coming to Jesus and being reborn, changed by Him.

Mammon: Mixed Messages

A good friend of mine recently shared a post from another blog with me, and it reminded me of a recent statement by Pres. Packer: "All of the mocking does not come from outside of the Church. Let me say that again: all of the mocking does not come from outside of the Church. Be careful that you do not fall into the category of mocking" ("Finding Ourselves in Lehi's Dream," Aug. 2010 Ensign).

The accusation put forward by the author was that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints resembled a corporation too much. He claimed the emphasis on money was too great, that today Church leaders are asking too much of members. He said some general authorities had been hinting that twenty percent was the appropriate amount for tithing, whereas Joseph Smith actually taught that it was two percent. Elder Oaks said, "Don’t seek to prove your dedication by fanatical excesses or by other evidence of 'holier than thou.' We pay our tithing, but we remember that tithing is a steady 10 percent—not 8 percent and especially not intermittent or frenzied outbursts of 12 percent." ("The Dedication of a Lifetime," CES Fireside, May 1, 2005, Oakland CA). The word "tithe" literally means tenth. The word "consecrate" means everything, (or apparently nothing to the author of the blog post in question).

How can an organization that takes in untold millions of dollars per year be the Church of Jesus Christ? seemed to be his main focus. My question for him is, What do you expect a world-wide Church to look like? Jesus told his twelve disciples in Judea, "Go ye into all the world," and the result was apostasy—thousands of fragments of Christianity everywhere. "One Lord, one faith, one baptism," says Paul (Eph. 4:5). Thousands of denominations later, a man who belongs to the actual Church of Jesus Christ is complaining about the correlation committee's attempts to prevent doctrinal contamination. What would Christ's Church have looked like if the original disciples had succeeded, and millions of people had converted to true Christanity instead of numerous corrupted versions?

What Did You Expect?

The mandate to take a pure gospel message into all the world is still present, but this time the technology is available to allow the brethren to speak to millions of people simultaneously. Rather than Paul's frantic epistles warning against apostasy from hundreds of miles away, Church members and anyone else who wants to can hear the voice of a living prophet in their living room. Derek Marquis, manager of BYU Broadcasting, recently outlined the advent of communication technologies, and showed how the current president of the Church in every stage of its growth has been on the cutting edge of that communications boom. Joseph Smith used the moveable type printing press to publish the Book of Mormon in 1830. In Oct. 1861, Brigham Young sent the first message over the new transcontinental telegraph wires (the Pony Express was obviated and disbanded two days later). In 1897, Wilford Woodruff recorded his testimony on an Edison-style phonographic cylinder. In 1922, Heber J. Grant gave the first Church message delivered by radio. Phone lines connected chapels to Priesthood Sessions of General Conferences in the 1970s. Then satellites dishes brought video to chapels. Today the internet carries the message to every corner of the earth (“To Every Nation, Kindred, Tongue, and People” Derek A. Marquis, BYU, April 5, 2011).

The author of the blog complained about the expense of using tithing to publish scriptures and manuals and pamphlets galore. Martin Harris did not just give ten percent of his wealth; he mortgaged his farm in order to print the original 5,000 copies of the first edition of the Book of Mormon. There will always be a mandate to take the gospel to all the world, and so there will always be an expense for it. The bigger the audience, the bigger the expense. Unless someone has a better idea.

De-emphasizing Wealth

After President Hinckley died, I decided to just accept President Monson as the new, default prophet of the Church without asking any questions. But I felt prompted to obtain a witness for myself. Shortly I found myself reading the First Presidency message in the very next Ensign, and President Monson was the author. I had been concerned about money as a common object of idolatry in my community and nation, and the last lines of the article addressed my concern: "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." When I read that, I felt a witness that he was indeed the Lord's chosen leader of His Church.

President Uchtdorf recently said, "Disciples of Jesus Christ...know you could pile up the accumulated currency of the entire world and it could not buy a loaf of bread in the economy of heaven" (You Matter to Him, Oct. 2011 General Conference). Earlier, he said, "Work can be ennobling and fulfilling, but remember Jacob’s warning not to "spend … your labor for that which cannot satisfy." If we devote ourselves to the pursuit of worldly wealth and the glitter of public recognition at the expense of our families and our spiritual growth, we will discover soon enough that we have made a fool's bargain...Remember, we are only temporary travelers in this world. Let us not devote our God-given talents and energies solely to setting earthly anchors, but rather let us spend our days growing spiritual wings. For, as sons of the Most High God, we were created to soar unto new horizons."

How can a Church expect to fill its coffers when the ranking leaders are making statements like this over the pulpit? I was relieved to hear a letter from these same members of the First Presidency, asking the congregations of the Church to be generous with tithes and offerings. You see, I have been a recent recipient of Church welfare, and I was considering not putting any fast offering in the envelope—wouldn't that be counter-intuitive and self-defeating to give money to the system when its goal was to get me out of poverty? But I put in what constituted a generous offering for ME, and handed the envelope to the Bishop. Minutes later he read the statement. Millions of dollars flow, yes, but to what end? I happily, absentmindedly contributed fast offerings for years without really knowing. This year I saw it: putting food on tables for Thanksgiving dinner.

Re-emphasizing Wealth

My personal experiences with a few other churches have not been so stellar. As a missionary, I recall sitting in an evangelical meeting. Unlike my church, there was nothing remotely corporate-looking or international about this organization. It was locally-grown, privately operated. The pastor got up, however, and began sermonizing about how to get rich. He described his visit to a beach resort where people were playing in the sun and surf, and interpreted Jesus' statement, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly," (John 10:10) to be about the affluence he saw. He encouraged his congregation to shed attitudes that kept them in poverty. It was like attending a get-rich-quick seminar. On other occasions, people I met described their annoyance with greed in local churches. One man told us about a pastor with two expensive cars "...don't know what he needed them for—one for each foot?" Another person described a church leader sitting in a chair at the front of a chapel while the congregation brought him gifts, including a refrigerator.

In one "mega-church" I attended, there was a donation plate passed. Everyone could see how much you put in. There is a stark contrast between this traditional method and the current LDS model of gray envelopes that could contain a check for $15,000, or just fifteen dollars. I have been a clerk in a previous ward, and know from personal experience that no one gets to brag or share how much money they paid. The widow's mite arithmetic applies here: Contributions and donations are proportional to income. Ten percent of zero is zero, and is therefore a full tithe. Ten percent of a dime or a million dollars is a full tithe. How in the world do those Mormons function with lay-clergy and volunteerism?

These were a handful of negative examples I encountered, and I hope they are not typical of all the churches in the area where I served. One man seemed to think such things were systemic: "Religion is run like a business in [America]!" He thumped his chest, and told us his church was "right in here." My companion was able to reassure him that no one was paid to serve in our Church. That reminder was a balm to my heart, as well as calming to the man.

Picking Off False Gods

Joseph Smith said, "After a person has faith in Christ, repents of his sins, and is baptized for the remission of his sins and receives the Holy Ghost...then let him continue to humble himself before God, hungering and thirsting after righteousness, and living by every word of God, and the Lord will soon say unto him, Son, thou shalt be exalted. When the Lord has thoroughly proved him, and finds that the man is determined to serve Him at all hazards..." (TPJS, pp. 150, emphasis mine).

That process of "thoroughly proving" includes asking us to make Abrahamic sacrifices (see D&C 101:4). I believe that we are tested to see if we will sacrifice one difficult thing, and when we succeed, we are asked to give up another more difficult thing, and on and on until the Lord has tested our whole heart, examined our whole list of priorities. He eliminates an individual's potential false gods one by one.

Ultimately, tithes and offerings give us an opportunity to show our Father in heaven where our hearts really are—whether they are set on the things of this world, or that He takes priority over them in the catalog of our affections, desires, appetites, values, etc. The rich young ruler could not get over the temptation of wealth versus God; Peter boasted about his success in that area, and the Savior warned him not to congratulate himself too soon. While Peter could forsake his career, he fell short when asked to give his life. In the end, however, Peter succeeded, and died for the Savior. Much harder than parting with money, I imagine.

When we understand that this gauntlet of testing is not just a series of inconvenient accidents or curses, but a process of probing our willingness to put God first "at all hazards," then tithing and a myriad of other challenging requests by the Lord snap into focus. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is all between the individual and the Lord. You and He are the only ones who know for certain if you are paying a full tithe. By the looks of the Church today, however, a substantial percentage of members must be putting a true ten percent into those envelopes.

The Second Coming is About Jesus

It may seem like a truism to say that the Second Coming is about Jesus returning to the earth, but as I listened to a Sunday school lesson on the subject last week, I recognized that, for some, the main focus was elsewhere. Wars, calamities, destruction, plagues, famines, political unrest, assassinations, and great wickedness all precede the arrival of Jesus among the Nephites in the the Book of Mormon. Since it was written for us in our day, I assume we can take their history as a template for the kinds of things that will play out before we see Jesus come again.

The beauties and prosperity and harmony that prevailed after Jesus ministered to the Nephites are also probably similar to what the earth will be like after Jesus comes in glory in our time. In any case, we do not have much time left before He comes, because He named the Church "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." Latter means later, in other words, the last days right before He comes again.

In the scriptures, Jesus is called the Bridegroom, and the Church is called a bride. I remember one friend, a girl, on the verge of getting married. She was overjoyed, but her dreams and hopes were not centered on the man she had chosen, her groom. She joked that he did not even need to show up for the photography session. She was so happy to have her picture taken in her bridal regalia that the groom was out of the picture in her mind.

Just as a bride can become excited about the accessories and spangle and peril and anxiety of the wedding day—her dress, the rings, the food, the flowers, the guests, the weather, the dancing, the potential for disaster, in-laws getting along, and all the rest of the hullabaloo associated with The Happiest Day of Her Life, and end up marginalizing the groom in the process—so we, as members of the Church, often marginalize Jesus Christ as we talk about and fantasize about the negative and positive events surrounding His Second Coming.

In 3 Nephi, his arrival signals the beginning of several days when Jesus is the natural center of attention. The voice of the Father Himself introduces Jesus Christ, instructing the people to look and listen. They think He is an angel at first. They are transfixed, enthralled and silent. He invites them to come forward. The people clamor around Him, touch his hands, feet, and side, feeling His injuries suffered for them, and listen with rapt attention as He teaches them. He tells them He is going to leave, "And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them." When He leaves at night, excitement propels self-appointed missionaries to spend all night spreading the news that he will be coming the next day. (Talk about an adrenaline rush. Even sleep is forgone to announce Jesus.) Jesus is the star of the show in this scenario, not an accessory or incidental to the great events. He was the instigator of both the destruction of the wicked, for which He takes full credit in 3 Nephi chapter 9, and the subsequent peace and prosperity last about two centuries because of adherence to His teachings.

In D&C 88:51-61, you read a parable a Master visiting twelve servants, each working in their field, and each getting to see Him for one hour. Each one receives Him at an appointed time. But these are not dreary visits. "...I will come unto you, and ye shall behold the joy of my countenance." "...I will visit you with the joy of my countenance." For Jesus to arrive in a place is to fill it with the same light and joy and glory that attends the Celestial Kingdom. In John 17:24, Jesus prays: "Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me..." That is more than a request that they be able to "hang out" with Him; He is praying that they can come to the Celestial Kingdom with Him! To be in Jesus' presence, if we are worthy, IS joy. Automatically. The Nephites experienced ineffable, incomprehensible joy as they saw, touched, and heard Jesus. They basked in His glory.

A person's description of what they think heaven will be like tells a great deal about that person. Usual descriptions of heaven by those of us who have never seen it involve fulfillment of physical desires and appetites. Rivers of chocolate, sex, toys, and vague descriptions of peace, love, and joy tend to characterize descriptions of imagined paradises and afterlifes. But those things exist here on earth, and this is not heaven. "We'll be completely happy in heaven," is the general idea, but there is no indication beyond meager fantasies of pleasure as to how this joy is to be created or made to last. The Nephites describe their joy as eyewitnesses of Jesus: "And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father" (3Ne. 17:17). They felt joy that exceeds the parameters of normal mortal experience. And Jesus was the direct cause of it. It has been pointed out to me that the lyrics of the hymn, "Joy to the World," are not about Jesus' birth, but are a description of the Second Coming.

As a Church, the collective bride, we are concerned about the food, decorations, guests, clothes, contingencies, the potential for tragedy, the cost of the events before the Second Coming, and we frequently slip into that syndrome of being apathetic about the Groom.

Matt. 25:1-13 gives the parable of the Ten Virgins. They await the arrival of the Bridegroom, who represents Jesus. Their status as virgins indicates that they were pure, and indeed, they have been interpreted by Church authorities to represent the Church itself: "The arithmetic of this parable is chilling. The ten virgins obviously represent members of Christ’s Church, for all were invited to the wedding feast and all knew what was required to be admitted when the bridegroom came. But only half were ready when he came" (Dallin H. Oaks, Preparation for the Second Coming, April 2004 Ensign). Let's not just get ready for famine and war and disaster, or daydream about picking fruit in paradise after He comes—let's be ready for Him.

"Wherefore, be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom—For behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that I come quickly. Even so. Amen" (D&C 33:17). Let's be ready for the happiest day of our lives.

The gospel teaches us how to prepare, how to access the Atonement—faith in Christ, repentance of all sin, baptism by immersion, receiving the Holy Ghost and spiritual rebirth, and enduring to the end. These things allow us to have the Spirit now, and experience a foretaste of the joy to come. And they are the main way we prepare for the Second Coming.

Faith Versus Perfect Knowledge

What is the difference between believing in something, and knowing something? There are many everyday answers, but below is my understanding of the answer to that question in the context of the gospel. (This is woefully incomplete; books could, and have, been written on the subject. I guess I should put the same qualifier on all my posts, but this is a mutable blog, or internet diary, not a carved-in-stone edifice, and I should not need to apologize for having faith or opinions.)

In my opinion, faith is as far as we can reach on our own in God's direction. It is like leaning over the edge of a railing by a bottomless precipice, and hoping a hand will come out of the darkness and take ours. When that hand touches ours, we go from believing to knowing. It takes effort to believe: "Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent" (John 6:29). So much for the faith-or-works disupute. Faith IS works!

We believe by hearing the word from somewhere: "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Rom. 10:17). We have a reason to believe, but we do not yet have a certain knowledge. Even knowing a thing through the five senses is usually not enough to change behavior. (Today is Thanksgiving; people everywhere in America and elsewhere are going to demonstrate this principle at the dinner table.) The accounts of some people's rebellious and irrational responses to miracles is a great evidence for the validity of the scriptures. Their own five senses teach them that they have VERY good reasons to change their behavior. But the children of Israel see signs and wonders, and build a golden calf, or crucify the Savior. Laman and Lemuel see an angel, feel their bodies shocked by the power of God, and hear the voice of the Lord himself, and they murmur and rebel, and even become violent against Lehi and Nephi.

"And it came to pass that they were angry with him, even because he had greater power than they, for it were not possible that they could disbelieve his words, for so great was his faith on the Lord Jesus Christ that angels did minister unto him daily" (3Ne. 7:18). Miracles do not necessarily change behavior. To know for certain, and keep sinning, heaps even greater condemnation on us; for God to give us knowledge we cannot live up to is to damn us (Alma 32:19; D&C 82:3). Knowledge and the ability to live up to it must be in a person simultaneously. If the discrepancy between them becomes too large, disaster results. Part of the blessing of this life is that we can receive knowledge (slightly, "line upon line") sooner than we have the ability to live up to it, and learn from our mistakes rather than be condemned by them; this is because we are operating largely off from faith instead of knowledge, and especially because we are covered by the Atonement, which affords us the chance to repent when our knowledge exceeds our behavior. This is good when we are aimed in an UPWARD direction via repentance. In the case of those in open rebellion, however, light and knowledge are stripped away (Alma 12:11), probably to protect them from added culpability, but also as a negative consequence of deliberate and grievous sin.

Wilford Woodruff said this of Oliver Cowdery, March 3rd, 1889: "I have seen Oliver Cowdery when it seemed as though the earth trembled under his feet. I never heard a man bear a stronger testimony than he did when under the influence of the Spirit. But the moment he left the kingdom of God, that moment his power fell like lightning from heaven. He was shorn of his strength, like Samson in the lap of Delilah. He lost the power and testimony which he had enjoyed, and he never recovered it again in its fullness while in the flesh, although he died in the Church. It does not pay a man to sin or to do wrong." (The Deseret Weekly News, Vol. 38, p. 391.) Knowledge is a potentially dangerous thing to us; humility is like the balance pole of an acrobat that stabilizes his walk across the tightrope of mortality.

In the Lord's plan, knowledge, and the capacity to live up to it, arrive simultaneously. Mosiah 5:2 says, "And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually." They reached out to God in faith; He reached back to them by changing their hearts and confirming their faith, etching knowledge and certainty into souls and overshadowing doubt.

They believed first, and then were given a certain knowledge of the Savior and the plan of salvation described by King Benjamin, because their hearts were changed. Rather than see, hear, taste, touch, or smell something, they experienced an invisible inward change. Revelation and rebirth were part of the same package. This pattern is attested to by Jesus himself when visiting the Nephites:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, that this is my doctrine, and I bear record of it from the Father; and whoso believeth in me believeth in the Father also; and unto him will the Father bear record of me, for he will visit him with fire and with the Holy Ghost. And thus will the Father bear record of me, and the Holy Ghost will bear record unto him of the Father and me; for the Father, and I, and the Holy Ghost are one. And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things" (3Ne. 11:34-36).

First we believe in God and repent. Then we are born of God, visited with fire and with the Holy Ghost, like the people in Mosiah 5:2. That is when we go from believing to knowing; when the Holy Ghost changes our hearts to the point where our behavior and desires are more compatible with such knowledge. Knowledge begets responsibility, and culpability when actions do not conform to it. Satan tried to destroy Adam and Eve by giving them more knowledge than they had the ability to live up to. They gained a sense of modesty or shame at nakedness from eating the fruit, but Satan's proposed solution was inadequate—their fig leaf aprons left them immodestly dressed. The Lord gave them tunics that covered everything modestly, i.e. the ability to live up to their new level of understanding. The same model holds true with other forms of knowledge. Those who seek signs will be destroyed by them, because their knowledge will exceed their behavior. In D&C 63:7-9, the Lord explains, "And he that seeketh signs shall see signs, but not unto salvation. Verily, I say unto you, there are those among you who seek signs, and there have been such even from the beginning; But, behold, faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe."

Rebirth removes doubt in a more indelible way than physical forces detected by our five sense, and it also gives us the capacity to live up to the new knowledge by changing our natures. Doing what we know is right becomes natural to us, rather than a burden.

Finding What We Are Looking For

I recently watched a presentation by an author. Her recently published book had enjoyed wide distribution, phenomenal success. And her talk was mostly a lament that her best work was "behind" her. I will not name the book or the author, but the plot is biographical. It recounts her divorce, and a subsequent journey around the world to find fulfillment. She seeks fulfillment in food, philosophical spiritual enlightenment, and a temporary sexual encounter.

In the talk about her success, she finds herself in a quandary: nothing she ever does again will generate the acclaim of the book she wrote. She may enjoy writing, but no one will laud or buy her books as much as the one big hit she had. And this is very depressing to her.

Her proposed solution for this problem is to blame her success, or failure, on forces outside of herself. She speaks of the ancient Roman tradition of artists having a "genius," a spirit who attends creative people and inspires their great works, and can also abandon them capriciously. She said that, although she does not recommend adopting such beliefs, maintaining some sense that great works are partly to blame on cosmic forces beyond our control relieves us of the burden of depression when our attempts to perform (poetry, sculpting, writing, dancing, composing music, etc.) cannot duplicate previous success. She sees her problem in terms of how good she is or is not, and sees the solution as putting the blame for success or failure somewhere else.

My diagnosis of the problem is widely different from hers. I believe her real problem is that she has a swollen ego, in other words, pride. Rather than defend and accommodate this sore, swollen organ of the spirit, like someone shifting positions in a chair to avoid putting pressure on a painful boil, she should lance the thing and drain the infection out. Yes, it would be painful, but not as inconvenient or painful as carrying the encumbrance around with her everywhere, and shifting her beliefs into nonsense in the attempt to avoid bruising the useless sac of pus. Pride and truth are incompatible, and accommodating ego means making some departure from the truth.

Another insight I gleaned while listening to her speak was that, for all her efforts, her search around the world for happiness had not yielded anything lasting. She still felt uneasy, seemed devoid of foundation, as if her conclusions were experimental and tentative, rather than certain. Fame, wealth, power, and the pleasures of the flesh will lead to our destruction and misery if we make them the object of our efforts and searching.

Contrast this sad exercise in futility with a story of Abraham from the Midrash. He was a hundred years old, not feeling well at all, and sitting in his tent, surveying the desert. It was high noon, and extremely hot, a day "like the breath of hell." Abraham became worried that someone might be lost in the deadly heat, and sent his servant, Eliezer, to look for anyone in trouble. He came back and reported that no one was out there. Abraham said "I do not believe you," and went out himself to look for wayfarers. When he came back to his tent, the Lord was standing there. Abraham ran to meet Him, and bowed himself before the Lord. It was then that the Lord promised Abraham that Sarah would beget Isaac. To have a child was Sarah's and Abraham's fondest desire.

The author I mentioned above went out into the lush parts of the world to find satisfaction in self-absorption and indulgence of every appetite, and came away empty. Eccl. 2:10-11: "And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun." She fell for an old decoy.

Abraham went out into a hellish desert to look for his fellow men, and instead he found God, who granted him the thing he had longed for his whole adult life. Only God could provide it; Abraham was one hundred years old, and Sarah was ninety. He needed a miracle at this point in order to have a child, and the Lord provided one. The Lord has what each of us is actually looking for. We need to know how to look for it. Most great blessings tend to come in through the back door, not when we are looking for them, but when we are otherwise engaged, sometimes in unrelated, mundane tasks. I remember a time when I was cleaning my room, alone, when I was arrested by an intense impression from the Lord—that He loved me. It was a simple message, and I was not really doing anything of great import at the time. And the times when I have actually been engaged in serving others have yielded joy, the assurance that I was helping the Lord by helping His children.

When you love someone, seeing them in pain causes pain in you. The Lord loves all people, and aches for us when we are in pain. But the point of this life is to play by the rules, and those rules include a kind of separation from God. If someone is lost in the desert, they really can die of thirst, and the Lord lets it happen because those are the rules of this world we are playing by. Yes, God could intervene, but only He knows when it is not a violation of the rules to do so. But there is no rule against an Abraham going out to look for lost wanderers, and there is no rule against inspiring an Abraham to know where to look for them. The Lord takes it personally when we hurt or help others (Matt. 25:35-46). "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Three times the Lord asked Peter if he loved Him, and three times Peter responded affirmatively, and three times the Lord told Him: "Feed my sheep" (John 21:15-17). Lost sheep are the Lord's concern, and He is close to those who help Him search. He fills the longing of our hearts in the process.

Charity: a Christmas Present?

It is easy to read the description of how charity behaves, and assume that it is a list of commandments for us to "work on" or practice until we get it right. But a closer examination of the last verses in Moroni chapter 7 indicates otherwise to me.

"...charity is the pure love of Christ...whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." "Wherefore...pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ..." (Moroni 7:47-48, emphasis mine). These phrases give the sense that charity is instilled in us. Rather than acquiring the attributes listed in verse 45 (suffer long, kind, envy not, not puffed up, etc.) one at a time through practice, Mormon is telling his audience to pray for charity to be given to them as a unified whole, like installing a program on a computer. Faith, hope, meekness and lowliness of heart are all listed as precursors to this installation. In verse 48, he continues: "...that ye may become the sons of God..." Rebirth is the subject here, not our piano-practicing paradigm of self-improvement.

According to Mormon, faith, hope, meekness, and being a true follower of Jesus Christ are necessary to receiving charity, but it is still a gift, "bestowed upon" us. "...that when he shall appear, we shall be like him...that we may be purified even as he is pure" (Moroni 7:48). It is the difference between doing the right thing because you have to, and doing it because you want to (because the Lord changed your desires).

A Strange Explanation

In 1Ne. 11:8-23,  Nephi is having an interview with an angel, who comes to fulfill Nephi's request to know the meaning or interpretation of the tree his father saw. He comes to understand the meaning of the tree, but I have been baffled for several years now about exactly how this was accomplished. Nephi tells the Spirit of the Lord he wants to know the interpretation of the tree, the Spirit disappears, another heavenly messenger arrives, and shows Nephi a series of images in vision, familiar to us from the New Testament. "...in the city of Nazareth I beheld a virgin, and she was exceedingly fair..." He sees Mary. Then the angel says, "Knowest thou the condescension of God?" "I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." "...the virgin whom thou seest is the mother of the Son of God, after the manner of the flesh." (Nephi sees "the virgin again, bearing a child in her arms.") The angel continues, "Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?" (Now comes the part that confused me:) "Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things." (I love the angel's response here:) "Yea, and the most joyous to the soul."

There it is. Nephi sees what we call "the Nativity Scene," and suddenly he knows that the tree of life in his father's dream represents charity, the love of God. Nephi records how charity tastes or feels; Mormon explains how charity looks in action (Moro. 7:45 is as much a list of actions as it is a list of attributes).

In verse 25 he says, "I beheld that the rod of iron...was the word of God...which led to the fountain of living waters...which waters are a representation of the love of God; and I also beheld that the tree of life was a representation of the love of God." It sounds as though he suddenly understands through revelation, rather than hearing a verbal explanation. Nephi witnesses the baptism, ministry, miracles, and crucifixion of Jesus Christ in the next few verses, condensing the four Gospels into two pages. Nephi spends a few chapters recording the entire vision, which includes the fate of his descendants and the arrival of the gentiles in the Americas. But before this lengthy vision even begins, the event singled out by the Spirit, which he commands Nephi to bear record of, is the arrival of the Son of God (1Ne. 11:7).

A Precious Gift

The love of God "sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men," a free gift from God. Those in Lehi's dream who hold fast to the iron rod, which Nephi tells us represents the word of God, come to the tree of life and partake of the fruit, "...most desirable above all things," and "the most joyous to the soul." Alma elaborates: "And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst." (Alma 32:34).

So many gifts, toys and possessions, given at Christmas or any other time, become dilapidated, wear out, or simply become boring. It is so easy to become disenchanted with the things of this world. Any promise of genuine satisfaction and happiness in the scriptures begins to jump off the pages as I get older, because I have basically seen what the world has to offer, and had the faculties of my brain and body stimulated in most of the ways the world can do so. And it has left me hungry and thirsty. The effects of the Atonement as delivered to my heart by the Holy Spirit do not suffer from that quality that characterizes the world's offerings, namely boredom. As depicted in Lehi's dream, these things are decoys and detours from the path leading to the genuine happiness we all hunger for. The fruit of that tree is one gift that actually meets the promise made to the buyer, while the games and toys of mortality all fall short of the touted joy they are meant to procure. Charity needs no warranty or expiration date, because "charity never faileth...it endureth forever..."

It is not surprising angels were singing at Jesus' birth. "...how great the importance to make these things known to the inhabitants of the earth..." (2Ne. 2:8).

Get Thee Behind Me

Many Church leaders have stressed the importance of not being preoccupied with Satan or darkness, or things related. Our eye should "be single to the glory of God" so that we may be "filled with light" (D&C 88:67). Nevertheless, I have assembled here a list of helpful quotes and scriptures about how to get Satan off our backs.

"All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him. The moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power" (TPJS, p. 181).

Joseph Smith "said he had a subtle devil to deal with, and could only curb him by being humble" (TPJS, p. 225). Like holds to like—"...intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own..." (D&C 88:40). It makes sense then that the more our attitudes and feelings resemble those of heavenly beings, the more those beings will cleave to us, and also the reverse. "Pride is a switch that turns off priesthood power. Humility is a switch that turns it on" (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Pride and the Priesthood, Oct. 2010). That power includes discerning and casting out Satan.

The word "devil" means accuser, and not false accuser, either. Just because something is true does not mean we should condemn or criticize others for it. D&C 50:33 tells us that when commanding Satan to depart, we should not do it "with railing accusation, that ye be not overcome, neither with boasting nor rejoicing, lest you be seized therewith." Enmity makes us like Satan, and gives him access to us. When we fight Satan using his tactics, we have already lost. We should avoid fear. Moses saw "the bitterness of hell" when he began to fear (Moses 1:20). Joseph's sense that destruction was imminent in the sacred grove was undoubtedly real to him, but I personally heard Elder Bruce C. Hafen at a fireside explain that Satan "cannot hurt you" physically. (I add, unless expressly stated otherwise by the Lord or his appointed servants; there have been rare exceptions).

We can command him to leave in Jesus' name. "Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve" (Luke 4:8). (Notice Jesus' familiarity with scripture contributing directly to His ability to rebuke Satan.) "Know that any person who has a body has power over one who has not. Satan is denied a body; so if ever you are confronted with temptations, know that you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed on to this very generation" (Boyd K. Packer, Truths Most Worth Knowing, Nov. 2011).

I give the following as my opinion: When Satan pesters you in your mind, you need only tell him to depart silently, in your mind. You reclaim the space in which your voice sounds.

Jesus' disciples were having difficulty casting an evil spirit out of a boy. Jesus did it for them, and they said, "Why could not we cast him out? And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting" (Matt. 17:19-21). Greater faith, fasting, and prayer are all listed by Jesus as curative against Satan.

There is no contest between the Lord and Satan. He can sweep Satan away like lint blown by a fan, or shadows disappearing before light. The many ministering angels sent by God are also invested with power to disperse Satan. However, "When our conduct hedges up the way of angels how can they bless us?" (Brigham Young, Young Women's Journal, p. 262).

The real battle is the salesmanship tug-of-war occurring in our own hearts and minds—Satan and the flesh inviting us to sin, and the Lord and our own spirits, our consciences, inviting us to repent and obey. Satan cannot force us, and the Lord will not. It is possible to choose our way into a trap, such as addiction, but we can be pried loose from those as well, if we repent and humble ourselves, and exercise faith in Christ.

Repentance also loosens Satan's grip on us. We have received a universal command to repent from Jesus Christ Himself (D&C 133:16, etc.). In fact, you could conceivable characterize every commandment as yet another way to stave off Satan and escape his influence. But the gospel is not centered around Satan; it is focused on Christ, and that is probably one of the reasons why we are counseled not to dwell too much on the adversary or related things. How do you examine a shadow? It is much easier to learn about light.

All Are Fallen

Comparisons can distort our view. It is easy to think that another person is so very much more righteous, or smart, or handsome, or intelligent, or wealthy, or whatever, than we are. I must occasionally remind myself that what goes on here on earth must seem fairly goofy compared to heaven. The few faces and bodies considered "perfect" by our mortal standards must pale in comparison to beauty of spirits and resurrected beings in heaven. The same goes for intelligence. Spirits have a "perfect" knowledge according to Nephi, and a "bright recollection," according to Amulek. Mortals tend to forget. Athleticism, wealth, musical ability, any positive attribute or virtue you can think of here, must be dwarfed by its heavenly counterpart.

Here on earth, we are easily impressed. It is very easy to assume that a person must be very righteous, virtuous, pure, etc. Someone who keeps ninety percent of the commandments most of the time seems to deserve praise or a medal or a trophy. But simply keeping all the commandments all the time is the MINIMUM requirement for righteousness. Dirt is more righteous than we are, because it consistently obeys God."O how great is the nothingness of the children of men; yea, even they are less than the dust of the earth. For behold, the dust of the earth moveth hither and thither, to the dividing asunder, at the command of our great and everlasting God" (Hel. 12:7-8). "And again, verily I say unto you, the earth abideth the law of a celestial kingdom, for it filleth the measure of its creation, and transgresseth not the law" (D&C 88:25). The earth abides a celestial law, which is simply to do what God tells it to. Do we deserve praise for simply doing what we are supposed to? Should an audience of onlookers begin to applaud wildly when we obey traffic regulations? No; it is our duty, what is expected of us.

Jesus' interaction with the rich young ruler in Mark will give us a clear picture of our current situation: "And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life? And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God. Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother. And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth. Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions" (Mark 10:17-22).

God is the only "good" one. The rest of us fall short of the requirement. Instead of praising the rich young man for his obedience to some of the commandments, Jesus asked him to obey the rules he was struggling with (commandment one, "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me," two, "No idols," and ten, "Thou shalt not covet." He was actively breaking all three commandments in his heart with his treasures.) Jesus was asking him to live the law of consecration, and the rich young man balked. He had reached his personal limit, and was shown exactly what he needed to work on, and repent of.

Ether 12:27 says that "...if men come unto [Christ], [He] will show unto them their weakness." That is exactly what happened here.

Peter noted with some pride that he and the other disciples had passed the test by leaving their worldly goods and following Jesus, and was eager to cross the finish line like the rich young ruler and receive a commendation or award or something. By comparison, they looked very good. Jesus hinted that Peter had hurdles he would trip over as well—he later denied the Lord three times.

So there we are. From our perspective, when we finally start doing the right thing, we deserve praise, but in reality, we are just beginning to do what is expected of us, the default behavior of obedience. "For it is expedient that an atonement should be made; for according to the great plan of the Eternal God there must be an atonement made, or else all mankind must unavoidably perish; yea, all are hardened; yea, all are fallen and are lost, and must perish except it be through the atonement which it is expedient should be made" (Alma 34:9). Jesus has bought time for us to repent, and covered our sins to soften the blow of despair that Peter and the rich young man felt when they reached their personal limit and broke the rules. If He has gone to such great lengths for us individually, despite our flaws, we should also be willing to excuse each other and forgive ourselves and others who fall short.

I believe the distance between a good person and a bad person is smaller than the distance between a good person and God. How many attributes would any mortal have to acquire (or rid himself of) before he could be equal to God? The Brother of Jared was a righteous man, so righteous that he saw Jehovah face to face, the pre-mortal Christ. But listen to the words he prayed just moments before that interview took place: "...O Lord...do not be angry with thy servant because of his weakness before thee; for we know that thou art holy and dwellest in the heavens, and that we are unworthy before thee; because of the fall our natures have become evil continually; nevertheless, O Lord, thou hast given us a commandment that we must call upon thee, that from thee we may receive according to our desires."

I think this is the real meaning of the word "weakness" as used in Ether 12:27. It is not talking about weaknesses (bad eyesight, poor inhibition of appetites, temper, or other foibles); it is referring to our fallen nature, all weakness together, our inheritance from Adam of living in the fallen world, with fallen bodies, and tripping under the load and disobeying the commandments. This verse is often conflated with the construct or paradigm of modern self-improvement literature, in which we pick out one flaw and "work on it." But that is not what the verse is about. Our work is to obey the commandments (D&C 11:20). Jesus' work is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. We can change our behavior, but that is not enough; He can change our natures, and that is what we are looking for. Receiving strength to improve behavior in spite of our nature (grace), and ultimately to have our natures changed so that we are no longer susceptible to temptations—that is what it means to have "weak things made strong unto" us. We become fit for heaven as He cleans us up, gives us strength to do what we are supposed to, and makes doing it desirable instead of drudgery. We help in the process by surrendering our hearts and agency to Him (humility), and that gets our agency out of the way, for He will not overreach agency.

Comparison to each other creates false impressions about who is good; comparison to the actual rules creates a realistic sense of how great a distance we still have to go. How do we avoid being overwhelmed by the disparity between what is and what should be? Hope through the Atonement of Christ. Not just believing the words in the scriptures, but taking the impressions of the Spirit as evidence that He is far from giving up on us, and is still working on us. A lump of clay does not look anything like a shining, colorful piece of pottery, but the kneading and pressure of the Potter's hands on the surface of the lump is evidence that He is busy molding it into what it should be, and that He sees it in terms of what it can become.