Whenever I interact with my nieces and nephews, I wonder if the way I view them is anything like the way my Father in heaven feels about me.
Yesterday my niece was distraught during a family outing at the park. She wanted to splash in a nearby water source; her mom was duly considering the possibility of allowing this splashing. But my little niece was not asking happily—she was whining.
Her dutiful mother told my niece that the more she whined, the less inclined Mom was to grant permission to play in the water. Finally, the child’s incessant crying lost her the fun of playing in the water AND the privilege of riding in her Aunt’s car, and she was forcibly strapped into Mom’s minivan instead, where she wailed and shed many tears.
The power struggle resulted in loss of joy for both parent and child. Mom won, yet lost, because she had a miserable and recalcitrant daughter; the daughter lost the joy of splashing in water and riding home with her aunt.
It seemed obvious to me—just stop complaining, dear, and Mom will give you all this stuff you want. But she insisted on whining, and forfeited her desires.
Other Children
When Israel backed out at the entrance to the Promised Land because of fear of its inhabitants, the Lord made them wander forty years in the wilderness.
“And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak…and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers…” (Num. 13:33).
“And all the congregation lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night…
“…Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness!” (Num. 14:1,2).
Should we see ourselves as grasshoppers? No, but perhaps the more salient question might be how (we and) the Israelites perceived their God:
“How long will this people provoke me? and how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed among them?” (Num. 14:11).
It seems the Lord wants these people to succeed at something more than finding food in the wilderness, or demonstrating their courage in battle. Instead, He wants them to stop complaining and trust in Him.
Because of their incessant whining due to weak faith, the Lord withdraws the offer of giving that generation the Promised Land:
“How long shall I bear with this evil congregation, which murmur against me? I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel, which they murmur against me.
“…as I live, saith the Lord, as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you:
“Your carcases shall fall in this wilderness; and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number, from twenty years old and upward, which have murmured against me,
“Doubtless ye shall not come into the land, concerning which I sware to make you dwell therein, save Caleb…and Joshua…(the only non-murmuring spies who scouted the Promised Land)” (Num. 14:27-30).
How sad—they forfeited the blessings they had worked for because of fear, because of a lack of trust at the precipice where the Lord told them to jump in. They whined until the Lord withdrew the promise and gave it to their offspring, four decades later.
The Same Lesson
Learning (and relearning) to trust the Lord in various circumstances, no matter what, seems to be remedial education for disciples of Christ.
One of the greatest witnesses that the scriptures are true is the way some people in these accounts react to miracles. The Israelites in this story trusted in what they could see, hear, and touch, and in their own strength, wisdom, and capacities. They had watched signs and miracles unfold in their delivery from bondage in Egypt, but they did not trust the Lord more than they trusted their own judgment.
They were worried about perceived threats, even though the Lord had PROMISED the land to them. The Lord was not concerned that they show their ingenuity and competence as soldiers; He had already drowned Pharaoh’s chariots for them. The ability He was most concerned about was their trust in Him.
Any one of these Israelites would have averred that he or she believed in God; but actions show whether, or how much, we trust Him. After all they had witnessed, they did not trust Him—at least, not as much as they trusted their own judgment.
A promise from the Lord, as intangible as the words themselves are, is more sure and reliable than the firmest mountains and fortifications.
“For the mountains shall depart, and the hills shall be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee” (Isaiah 54:10).
“Search these commandments, for they are true and faithful, and the prophecies and promises which are in them shall all be fulfilled.
“What I the Lord have spoken I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:37-38).
Regardless of what I am facing, it seems that I am relearning this same lesson over and over—that God is in control; that I should trust His promises more than I trust my own judgment, or what I perceive through my physical senses.
Promises
Laman and Lemuel murmured because “they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them” (1Ne. 1:12). They could not see an advancing Babylonian army that was eight years away; they had never seen their Promised Land thousands of miles away in the Americas.
Lehi and Nephi only knew about these things because the Lord told them about the destruction of Jerusalem, and a Promised Land He had prepared for them.
Al Fox Carraway noted that all our blessings are referred to in the scriptures as “prepared.” They are not in the oven anymore, so to speak; they are already ready for us. We need only qualify to receive them.
“For behold, the promises which we have obtained are promises unto us according to the flesh…” (2Ne. 10:2).
What do we have to do to qualify to receive our blessings?
“…I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” (Ether 12:6).
Great. So how do we display faith?
“Therefore go, my son, and thou shalt be favored of the Lord, because thou hast not murmured” (1Ne. 3:6).
The people of Alma had reasons to complain. They were doing their best trying to keep the commandments when a huge army appeared and enslaved them. They were in bondage, and crying to the Lord for deliverance.
They “did pour out their hearts to him; and he did know the thoughts of their hearts.
“And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort…”
Why? Because everything was OK? No:
“…for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage…
“…And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
“And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage” (Mosiah 24: 12-14, 16).
The next day their taskmasters were all in a profound sleep, and they simply walked out of bondage into freedom. (Later they ran, but they still remained free.)
Cry?
We are told to “cry unto the Lord” (see Alma 34). I believe this has more to do with intensity than with whining, complaining, or murmuring.
Too often we sleep-walk through perfunctory prayers. “Zeal of the Lord of hosts” is scriptural language. He brings perfect sincerity and perfect focus to us when He speaks; we should also be fully invested when we pray to Him.
A whining prayer is better than an insipid ritual of mumbling canned phrases and collapsing into bed. At least, when complaining, we are baring our hearts to God, even if the contents include some confused fear.
But when we have heard and understood a promise from God, our responsibility is to trust Him. The absence of what we want can give us cause to complain, but faith-filled anticipation of promised blessings can soothe us until they arrive “in the flesh.”
Trusting the Lord reduces whining—greatly.
Reciprocity
As with my niece and her mom, I think the Lord sees us and our problems differently than we see ourselves and our problems. Is the real problem not getting what we want? Or is it not having faith even when what we want is delayed? We would think of being delivered from all pain and discomfort and suspense as a miracle. Perhaps the real miracle is when we can experience unwanted things in this life without complaint.
It is also worth noting that if God gave us everything we want right now, we might discover that we had unintentionally put a dose of poison (or two) on our wish list.
In any case, what God wants is for us to get good at being patient and trusting Him. The things we typically think of as problems, He could solve instantly.
Be patient with the Lord; He is patient with us. It is easy to forget what the real purpose of life is—to demonstrate faith, obedience, patience, and love for our Father in heaven and Jesus Christ. We will not be flawless in this life, and if we wait until we are flawless before we proceed, we will never complete anything.
Experience teaches us that we can trust in the Lord; trust in the Lord (including not complaining) increases the speed and frequency of blessings. There is nothing about murmuring in the following verse, but notice how the opposite of that behavior affects the Lord’s willingness to bless us:
“And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more” (D&C 78:19).
However dark this life gets, it helps me when I remember that God lives in a place of perfect fullness, light, cleanliness, abundance, knowledge, and love. Those intangible yet desirable things come to us down here, especially when we are grateful and patient and loving, not murmuring and doubtful.
Getting to that state is NOT easy, but that is part of the real problem and task of this life, so let us get to work on it anyway. Jesus Christ provides grace to assist us, and—if we calm our fears and complaints—the reassurance of the Holy Spirit that, yes, He has things well in hand, under control, prepared, and planned out for our benefit and blessings.
