Charity is a gift from God, a special kind of love that He “[bestows] upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:48). It cannot be added to our list of virtues the way we learn to play the piano through constant practice; it is “bestowed.” There are forms of love that are native to the human heart that can be developed through our efforts, but charity originates from above. Likewise, pride, contention, and malice can come from human hearts, but they are intensified and promoted by Satan.
“...he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.” (3Ne. 11:29).
Nephi laments, “...Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? Awake, my soul...O, my heart...no longer give place for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again because of mine enemies...” (2Ne. 4:27-29). He is reflecting on his misery, and recognizing where it is coming from.
The Spirit is with us when our desires are righteous, aligned with God’s will. God respects agency greatly, enough to forsake one third of His children in favor of sustaining agency. Adopting Satan's stance on agency (to destroy it) is to lose the Spirit, and hence become bereft of charity. Satan invites all to share His misery, both by wickedness, and through self-righteousness and judgmentalism in viewing others’ wickedness. Accusing others of sin, even truthfully, will invite misery. Satan is “the accuser of our brethren” (Rev. 12:10), and we can expect to feel the way he does when we attempt to take his calling upon ourselves.
D&C 121 contrasts the wrong way to lead with the right way—first it tells us about Satan's plan to thwart others' agency: “...when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man. Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God” (vs. 37-38).
If we compel people to do the right thing, the Spirit withdraws. There are no spiritual vacuums; another spirit comes to take its place. Imagine that—going from a self-appointed police officer for God to becoming His active enemy, exactly because you sought to compel His children. When is it ever right to criticize anyone? Section 121 gives us the answer when it explains the right way to lead. Notice the respect for agency under-girding these instructions:
“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost (which is the only time we can criticize others without losing the Spirit); and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.”
It reflects the original Plan of Salvation—agency is held as sacred, inviolate. Notice the connection between respect for agency and charity. One flows into the other:
“Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever” (D&C 121:35-46). Here God is teaching us how He governs—with love. And perfect love, charity, respects agency.
I believe this idea of respect for agency linked to charity explains why politics can be so dark and depressing and rage-inducing (even thinking about it). The paradigm of modern American politics is to solve all our problems by compelling other people to change their behaviors, and seeking to enact policies and laws that will force others to conform to our ideas of right and wrong. Satan could not help but reign triumphant over such a unified assault on agency. Where agency is under attack, it is evil territory. I have often come away from discussions or thoughts about politics feeling horrendous darkness, anger, and depression. Accusing, gossip, and the desire to compel give Satan power over us, over our hearts. And our accusations need not be false to generate such negative feelings. “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord” (Rom.12:19). We can be right while still acting or feeling in the wrong.
I recently lost thirty percent of my income because of federal legislation. This is a reality I live with. But I, like Nephi of old, am determined not to let it “destroy my peace” or “afflict my soul.” I avoid anger, even true accusations against particular politicians, because the companionship of the Spirit is worth more to me than money. What amount of my income legislators and managers slice out of my paycheck is hardly within my control; what I choose to think and feel about it is totally under my control, and I choose to let go and forgive rather than be dragged into Satan's misery.
This principle of respect for agency being a prerequisite to receiving charity from the Lord was highlighted for me recently with the news about the Prop 8 non-ruling. While my grumblings about the actions of politicians were based on truth, I felt unrighteous anger towards them and towards proponents of gay marriage because I overstepped their freedom to choose (only in my mind and heart, but that is all it took). Protecting the interests of unborn children by promoting guardianship of both biological parents is the extent of a good argument against legal status for gay marriage. Stepping beyond that is to invite the wrong spirit.
As we look out over the sea of human wickedness in high places that confronts us, I hope we will not fall into Satan’s trap of rage, tooth-gnashing, hand-wringing, and stomach acid-churning. Wicked people are doing evil things, but The Book of Mormon describes them in its pages and warns against them. Conspiracies, murder, theft, intrigues—it is all there, seemingly ripped from today’s headlines. That our scriptures describe such things should bring us hope, and turn our hearts to God, rather than make us self-righteous and accusatory. Darkness is real; so is mud, and we should not immerse our heads in either.
Rather than fight fire with fire—becoming monsters to exterminate monsters—we ought to fight fire with water. If we will repent, God will soften the hearts of our enemies, give us good leaders, prosper us as a people, and allow us to get out from under current political corruption and vice. We can focus on changing our behavior instead of trying to change others.
It is tempting to reach out and steady the ark, to tamper with others’ agency. But consequences will teach far better than we can with our scolding and self-righteous tongue-clicking. "If I esteem mankind to be in error, shall I bear them down? No. I will lift them up, and in their
own way too, if I cannot persuade them my way is better; and I will not seek to compel any man
to believe as I do...for truth will cut its own way" (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 314). If the Spirit prompts us to be sharp (plain) and tell someone they are out of line, then we may correct them and keep the Spirit. If we show forth afterward an increase of love, it is evidence that the critique originated from the Lord, rather than from ourselves. If we showed love instead of bearing down in harshness, those who hit rock bottom will feel safer turning to us for help.
Peter chopped off the ear of Malchus with a sword to defend the Savior; the Savior healed the servant’s ear. We often do the same thing in a figurative way, chopping with words instead of blades. The Lord is the only one fully qualified to criticize and judge, and He is the most merciful, lenient, forgiving, and indulgent of all. His pardon is dispensed when we merely ask for it. I hope we can discern when to draw the sword (probably rarely, if ever), and when to invite, entice, and persuade. Then we can enjoy the fruits of the Spirit: peace, joy, and love.
