It seems that we tend to conflate the figurine in the nativity creche with the actual Mary, and treat her the same way we treat the figurine. We bring her out once a year, think of her as permanently cast in the particular role of young mother beneath a star, with adoring shepherds and magi arriving on cue, have cuddly feelings about the moment of Jesus' birth, and then we shut her up in the box we pulled her from, invisible for another year. I have been inside barn yards and dairy farms with piles of manure, and I could not imagine a woman giving birth in any of the cattle pens I have seen. Words like "squalor" and "unsanitary" hardly touch the reality of the concept. Yet it warms our sentimental hearts each year, as we happily ignore the distress Mary surely felt. She is, by and large, frozen in the Christian mind as the young mother in a sanitized narrative.
But the scriptures describe a changing, dynamic individual, filling multiple roles, even if only as a background participant in the gospel writers' accounts of Jesus' life. Unlike many who turned from Jesus (including recalcitrant siblings), Mary was there at many important events, filling various roles ignored by the one-dimensional Christmas depiction.
Mary composed a psalm, traditionally referred to as the "Magnificat," because she exclaims in its opening line, "My soul doth magnify the Lord..." (Luke 1:46). It is a literary masterpiece, evidence of a close brush with the divine, ably described by an articulate, educated, well-read, and poetic mind.
We see Mary in charge of a wedding feast in Cana. Jesus created the world as the premortal Jehovah under the direction of His Heavenly Parent; now we see Jesus rectifying an oversight in the supply of a wedding feast, this time under the direction of His mortal, earthly mother. She trusts Him completely with the commission, telling the servants, "Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it" (John 2:5). Just as the earth was a wedding present to Adam and Eve, and everyone else, the stone waterpots turned to wine were a miraculous gift to the Bride, Groom, and all others attending the wedding. When asked which was the first miracle Jesus performed, Joseph Smith responded, "He created the earth." Six days of creation; six waterpots turned to wine; both construed in various circles as Jesus' first miracle; Mary was present for both, presumably.
Mary is one of only four people mentioned individually in the New Testament and the Book of Mormon: Jesus (of course); John the Beloved; and John the Baptist (though not by name) and Mary. She is also one of only six women mentioned by name in the Book of Mormon (Eve, Sarah, Sariah, Isabelle, Abish, and Mary). She is referred to as "...being a virgin, a precious and chosen vessel..." (Alma 7:10). We usually see the scene of Mary cradling newborn Jesus in sentimental terms; Nephi sees the scene in vision, and is suddenly filled with understanding as to the interpretation of the Tree of Life in his father Lehi's vision-dream: "...it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things" (1Ne. 11:22). I have seen the nativity creche my whole life, and have yet to derive anything so doctrinally rich or profound from it; how did Nephi glance at that scene and suddenly know the correct interpretation?
We see Mary and Joseph in a horrifying circumstance, frantically scrambling to locate Jesus, a charge given directly to Mary by heavenly messengers. The twelve-year-old Jesus had stayed behind after the Passover feast in Jerusalem, and his earthly parents "sought [him] sorrowing." How many gray hairs would I generate in such a situation, even if it were not the Messiah I had lost?
After Jesus' birth, Mary and Joseph take Him to the Temple to be circumcised. Simeon and Anna, two elderly Temple workers, prophesy about the Child. Simeon predicts that Mary will be pierced with a figurative sword as she copes with the sorrow of watching Jesus die (Luke 2:35). One possible meaning of the name Mary (Miriam) is "bitterness," or "bitter tears." This is far from the cuddly depiction of her we see each winter.
The prophet Isaiah speaks of her in poetic predictions: "Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel" (Isa. 7:14). Joseph was given the name for their child in a dream-vision. Mary was risking her life (see John 8:4-5) by accepting the charge to be the mother of Jesus, because she was formally espoused to Joseph, yet she "[knew] not a man" (Luke 1:34). Mary's bravery, submission, and faith appear in her acceptance of the charge from Gabriel: "And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word" (Luke 1:38). She was the center of a much larger family than what appears in the Nativity Creche; she had other children with Joseph after Jesus birth. Jesus had four brothers, and at least two sisters (Matt. 13:55-56). Jesus gives John responsibility to care for His mother from the cross;
we can therefore assume that she was a widow at this point (John 19:26-27).
After the shepherds arrived to inspect the actual Lamb, Luke says that "...Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart" (2:19). I heard someone interpret this to mean that Mary had no one to confide in. I give her more credit that that: "The reason we do not have secrets of the Lord revealed unto us is because we do not keep them but reveal them; We do not keep our own secrets, but reveal our difficulties to the world, even to our enemies, then how would we keep the secrets of the Lord? I can keep a secret till Doomsday" (Joseph Smith, TPJS pg. 195). Mary's experience parallels Joseph Smith's in many respects; they both had visions when they were young; they both accepted enormous responsibilities from God in youth; they both prophesied about their reputations spreading to the future world; they both paid dearly for their loyalty to God; they both stayed faithful to the ends of their mortal lives. Mary is mentioned as being among the faithful after the resurrection, praying with the other disciples (Acts 1:14).
She filled many roles besides the familiar one we imagine each Christmas. Life asks much of each of us as scripts change and new stages come and go. Mary fulfilled her callings at each new stage with exemplary dedication, never balking at a new assignment, however painful, and we can better learn from her when we peel back the label and stereotype we have placed on her.
