In our struggle to keep our behavior in line with the commandments God has given us, grace is essential. At least, it is essential for me. I lack the strength to white-knuckle, cold-turkey, willpower my way through the various temptations assaulting me throughout the day. Perhaps there are those whose natures predispose them to be tempted by things that are socially acceptable. Or perhaps they are only attacked on a narrow front, like Leonidas and his legendary Spartans. The limited chink in the country's cliffs made defending the land from the invading Persians easy. Only a handful withstood an army. I, on the other hand, find myself assaulted by so many enemies on so many fronts that I could not function without reinforcements from the Lord. Rather than sending soldiers to help, He sends grace. I have discovered that there are different kinds, or levels, of grace.
Finding Strength Beyond My Own
The more obvious kind of grace is strength. It is miraculous—I can tell you what it feels like, but the actual mechanism is still a mystery to me. In any case, strength from the Lord allows us to resist temptations. We have our own willpower, but it is usually insufficient. We have bodily appetite pulling us down, and spiritual desires pulling us up. The Lord can lift with us, like a spotter in a weight room, taking up the extra weight we cannot successfully move. This might seem like the pinnacle of divine intervention, but it is only the beginning.
Deliverance From Bondage
The next level of grace (I don't know how many levels there are, but my experience is that you must definitely receive the kind mentioned above BEFORE this next one—they are thus sequential for me), is sanctification, a mighty change of heart, spiritual rebirth, the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost. I use those terms interchangeably.
I remember hearing a fireside speaker conflate feelings of renewed determination to do the right thing (instead of sinning) with the mighty change of heart. Sadly, I take this as evidence that 1. He is unaware of what the scriptures teach, and 2. He has never experienced this grace, this change of heart, himself. "Having no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually," describes something beyond the emotional outcome of a pep talk. The mighty change of heart is not something we practice or do to ourselves. Essentially, it comes when we get our agency out of the way so that the Lord can reach inside of us and remove the desire for sin. This is much more effective than leaving the desire for sin in us, and helping us struggle with it.
An Indispensable Miracle
Does this sound unrealistic? Here is the Lord's response to our amazed reaction:
"Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters; And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God" (Mosiah 27:25-26). This is not an optional decorative frill. It is the minimum qualification for entrance into heaven. (We speak much of becoming "like God," but very little about how that will come to pass. Changing our behavior is acting like God would act, but not so much about being. Spiritual rebirth is the main avenue for such change. All other considerations are found in further schooling and in the resurrection, another form of the Lord's grace.)
Finding Strength Beyond My Own
The more obvious kind of grace is strength. It is miraculous—I can tell you what it feels like, but the actual mechanism is still a mystery to me. In any case, strength from the Lord allows us to resist temptations. We have our own willpower, but it is usually insufficient. We have bodily appetite pulling us down, and spiritual desires pulling us up. The Lord can lift with us, like a spotter in a weight room, taking up the extra weight we cannot successfully move. This might seem like the pinnacle of divine intervention, but it is only the beginning.
Deliverance From Bondage
The next level of grace (I don't know how many levels there are, but my experience is that you must definitely receive the kind mentioned above BEFORE this next one—they are thus sequential for me), is sanctification, a mighty change of heart, spiritual rebirth, the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost. I use those terms interchangeably.
I remember hearing a fireside speaker conflate feelings of renewed determination to do the right thing (instead of sinning) with the mighty change of heart. Sadly, I take this as evidence that 1. He is unaware of what the scriptures teach, and 2. He has never experienced this grace, this change of heart, himself. "Having no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually," describes something beyond the emotional outcome of a pep talk. The mighty change of heart is not something we practice or do to ourselves. Essentially, it comes when we get our agency out of the way so that the Lord can reach inside of us and remove the desire for sin. This is much more effective than leaving the desire for sin in us, and helping us struggle with it.
An Indispensable Miracle
Does this sound unrealistic? Here is the Lord's response to our amazed reaction:
"Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters; And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God" (Mosiah 27:25-26). This is not an optional decorative frill. It is the minimum qualification for entrance into heaven. (We speak much of becoming "like God," but very little about how that will come to pass. Changing our behavior is acting like God would act, but not so much about being. Spiritual rebirth is the main avenue for such change. All other considerations are found in further schooling and in the resurrection, another form of the Lord's grace.)
We are so accustomed to hearing that "Jesus was the only sinless person" that we have almost come to see it as our assignment to sin, to be sinners, to be imperfect, to struggle with the desire to sin. I give it as my opinion that if we could go our entire life without sinning, keeping our behavior perfectly in line with the commandments, we would still get turned away at the gates of the celestial kingdom. Why? Because our hearts have not been changed. Heaven is more than a place for people who do good (Laman and Lemuel eventually did everything they were commanded); it is a place for people who ARE good. As Elder Oakes stated, the final judgement will be less about what we did (a vast relief), and more about what we have become (reenter the nervousness).
Our actions may have been pure, but what about motives in our hearts? Were we meant to ride a wave of guilt into heaven? Do angels sit around snapping their wrists with rubber bands to ward off bad feelings and thoughts? No. If we want to live with them, we must also be like them.
Lord, How is It Done?
How do we experience this mighty change of heart? The scriptures are loaded with advice on what to do, and humility seems to be the missing ingredient for most of us. Ether 12:27 describes the first kind of grace I described above; 3Ne. 9:20 describes the mighty change of heart. The main difference between these verses is that one tells us to humble ourselves, while the other intensifies that injunction: we must "offer" "a sacrifice" of "a broken heart and a contrite spirit." One tells us to be humble to receive strength; the other tells us to be very, very humble, submitting our whole being to Christ, so that He can change our natures. For Christ to reach inside us and change our natures without our permission would violate the principle of agency. So humility is a prerequisite. Forget your checklist of flaws and weakness you need to "work on." Humbling ourselves, exercising faith in Christ, and coming to Him, are the work we need to do. He does the rest.
I think of this mighty change of heart as deliverance from the bondage of sin. It is such a subtle, seamless change that it can be missed (the Lamanites referenced by the Lord in 3Ne. 9:20 were born again and they "new it not") if we are not paying attention. When you are exposed to things that used to tempt you, and feel sorrow and revulsion and apathy instead of enticement, that is evidence that the change has occurred. As I said, it is not a minor change, a mood change, or a corollary to our paradigm of practicing the piano til we get good at it. Imagine waking up one morning craving broccoli and disliking chocolate cake. If that were to actually happen, you might visit a doctor to discover why you had experienced such a drastic change. This is not something you practice or work on; "immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about to you." This change happens at the rate we surrender our heart to God, and no faster or slower.
Thorn in the Flesh
Paul complained of a "thorn in the flesh" (2Cor. 12:7) and leaves us to guess what it was. Whatever disturbed this great missionary about his nature, he was distressed enough that he pled with the Lord three times to have it removed from him. I do not believe he prayed three times in one night—I believe he probably fasted and prayed on three separate occasions, separated by months or even years. Why did the Lord refuse to remove whatever cross this faithful saint was carrying?
I do not know the whole answer, but Paul thought it was there to keep him humble. The Lord's response to Paul echos Ether 12:27: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Paul continues: "Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." The above scripture from Ether reminds us that it was the Lord who gave us the weakness in the first place. The Lord can determine whether to remove it, or leave it on our shoulders and give us strength sufficient to carry it instead.
Paul's experience is not a license to keep our pet sins. It teaches us that the Lord could remove any burden He wanted, and that some things really are part of His plan for individuals. But I believe such things are not universal, that we are not doomed to carry the cross of maladaptive desires for our entire lives. Let's not point to Paul's thorn, or anyone other persons' burdens, as evidence that the Lord intends for us to be tempted. He will, with the temptation, prepare a way for us to escape. Let's ask the Lord to find that way, whether it be physically running like Joseph in Egypt, or receiving strength to carry the cross like Paul, or running into the arms of the Lord and having that burden completely excised from our natures.
Waiting, or Being Waited For?
Some people surrender their hearts completely, sincerely, in an instant, and so receive the mighty change of heart in an instant. Lamoni was unconscious for three days after he prayed on behalf of his people; his father got to the point faster, was unconscious for only a few minutes after offering his all to God in prayer, and was converted as soon as he awoke. In either case, it was not the Lord dragging his feet while the mortal was patiently waiting; it was the other way around.
How can we know whether we have given our whole heart to God? This is scary territory, intimidating subject matter, but where else will we go? There is no other Savior, and no other conditions for salvation but His. Let's dive in then. A good place to study in the scriptures on this subject is the story of the rich young man. There are three accounts, one in each of the synoptic gospels. Matthew, Mark, and Luke give slightly different accounts. If you cull the dialogue from each account, you find that the young man was enthusiastically looking for a kind of rubber stamp approval from the Lord on his stellar behavior and life, a ticket into heaven. The Lord interviewed him as to his keeping the commandments. He was missing three of the ten—1, 2, and 10. He DID have another god besides the Lord; he WAS worshiping a graven image; and he WAS coveting; the culprit was his wealth. The Lord asked him to part with it, and the rich young ruler discovered that he loved his money more than the Lord. Truly, "...if men come unto [Christ] [He] will show unto them their weakness."
Heart Pedestals
The Lord showed him that there were prominences in the topography of his heart where possessions were higher than God. Is anything in our hearts higher than God? When we are put to the test, and asked to choose between God and anything else (but not both) how do we react? That reaction tells us to what extent our heart is Christ's. Scan the list of things we love, and ask which ones we would be hard-pressed to relinquish at the Lord's request. These things, no matter how draped in virtue, are potential false gods for us.
Speaking of ownership, it is worth noting here that all things we possess (but our hearts, our agency, our free will) actually already belong to God. Being willing to give them to Him is a token of the actual surrender of our hearts to Him. Ownership is merely a very convincing illusion as far as this world is concerned.
It takes a while for me to get used to the idea that everything I love is on the menu, and God could take it from me at a moment's notice, just ask me to surrender it. Most people do not offer a prayer and come out of a coma completely converted. Most are slow. What if we are hesitant foot-draggers? What then is the process of surrendering our stuff, our hearts, to God?
Catering to Cowards
D&C 88 teaches us that the earth itself, its trajectory through creation, fall, and eventual celestialization, it comparable to our trajectory through the plan of salvation. According to Truman G. Madsen, Joseph Smith taught that the earth would receive its paradisiacal glory by degrees, a little bit at a time. It will be a process, not an instantaneous change.
A dentist I knew used disposable bibs with cartoon images of a whimpering lion on them, beneath the caption: WE CATER TO COWARDS. We are almost all intimidated by complete surrender, and so the Lord does accommodate our cowardice, allowing us to move slowly in that direction. (He may jerk us awake with the occasional trial or difficulty; sooner and faster is best for us to choose. Writing about this kind of stuff is dangerous too; Elder Maxwell was writing a talk about patience once, and the car taking him to his destination threw three fan belts along the way. We each get called to live what we preach, and I wonder if this is part of the reason why the testimony is not in force until the death of the testator. Our words are valid when we have followed through on them, and there are no longer opportunities to recant.)
A Little Here, A Little There
The earth is being filled with temples. Slowly, piece by piece, small parcels of land are being dedicated to God as His private property. The land is being prepared for Jesus' second coming.
Just as the earth can have patches here and there dedicated to God, so I believe we can offer parts of our heart to God at a time. (God is actively hunting down and destroying my false Gods; to love anything more than Him is to paint a target on it.) Rather, we offer our whole heart to God at once, falling backwards into His arms, with the tacit, trusting understanding that He will ask no more (nor less) of us than we are able to offer. Peter noted that he and the other disciples were successful in parting with their worldly wealth and professions at the Lord's request. But they had not yet been asked to give up their lives, and Jesus rebuked Peter with the warning that they who make themselves first shall be last, and the last first. Peter had cleared one bar, money, but he had yet to successfully clear the bar of martyrdom. He chickened out the first time, but died bravely for his Savior in the end.
A Warning
If we ever withdraw our sacrifice, the rebirth we experienced begins to crumble as well. Rebirth and grace are withdrawn as we contend against the promptings of the Spirit and refuse to make the occasional new, individual sacrifices required of us by the Lord. Not only will we be exposed to the full brunt of temptations we once dealt with before our initial rebirth, but we will also be faced with new ones.
Jesus warns Nephi, "After ye have repented of your sins, and witnessed unto the Father that ye are willing to keep my commandments, by the baptism of water, and have received the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost, and can speak with a new tongue, yea, even with the tongue of angels, and after this should deny me, it would have been better for you that ye had not known me" (2Ne. 31:14). "When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first" (Matt. 12:43-45). Mormon observes, "And thus we can plainly discern, that after a people have been once enlightened by the Spirit of God, and have had great knowledge of things pertaining to righteousness, and then have fallen away into sin and transgression, they become more hardened, and thus their state becomes worse than though they had never known these things" (Alma 24:30).
The sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit is not a one-time or part-time deposit the Lord asks of us. It is a lifetime commitment, a condition that must remain permanent if we are to enjoy that mighty change in a permanent fashion. Those signs that warn "DO NOT BACK UP—SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE' evoke the kind of warnings that apply to spiritual rebirth, to any who receive it and then deny that God was the author of the change, or boast about it. It is a step up the mountain, and to fall from a greater height incurs greater damage. But there is no where else to go, so let's start making the ascent. Quick, humble responses in obeying the promptings of the Spirit will keep us firmly anchored to the mountain.
To Conclude
As we hand over portions of our hearts, they are slowly taken into Christ's hands and celestialized, infused with His nature as a replacement for ours. The language of our covenants is absolute, but His generosity, patience, and flexibility with us means that sacrifices He asks for are our personal 100%, not Peter's or Lamoni's or the rich young ruler's. When we want to see complete deliverance from sin, we need only offer our whole heart to God.
